I woke up this morning with a sense of
loss and emptiness that I couldn't understand until now at this writing. It became apparent to me after listening to Rush Limbaugh for five minutes today, that my sick and empty feeling was caused by my utter contempt of what the Democrats and Republicans did in the last election. My rage and contempt was rooted much deeper than I had originally thought , it was in the center of my soul, that place that the Christian right so wrongfully claim as their hallowed and sacred ground. That
place that a true patriot knows well and
frequents often. That center of conscience that identifies the wicked from the godly.
Thoughts of war , death, fear, corruption and cynicism veil our center soul, until we become lost and mad with anxiety, eager to accept fate or a fool as our guide.
I realized today that my outrage was more of a coverup for my total sense
of helplessness in the struggle between
good and wicked politics. I have been rendered powerless except for my motor
skills in combating the wickedness that has invaded my government. Since the Democratic concession of two fraudulent elections I have come to realize that I no longer have even the simplest democratic freedom left,the right to a free and fair election and the assurance that my solitary vote will even be counted.
So today I have replaced my hatred
for the Democrats and Republicans with repulsion and pity, the way one looks at a dead man who
betrayed everyone he knew and died from his own reckless excesses and is mourned by no one. I no longer fear or hate Bush or the Republicans. I only fear that subconsciously my healthy rage has turned into a sick indifference and
that I will care less and less about the world and
people around me, until I become like they who I once so abhorantly dispised .